Fear of the Unknown.

I have never been a fan of space movies. The idea of floating into the black of space more immense than I can fathom is so terrifying to me. I'm the same way with the deep ocean, and I realized a few years back that I'm not afraid of space and the deep ocean because of what I know is there, but because I don't know.That fear of the unknown is the same fear that caused so many of us to want nightlights as kids and made me not want to sleep in a room alone. When we can't see what's right in front of us, we begin to imagine all the terrible things that could be there. As a kid, I was terrified of cockroaches. I swear, over the years those things would find me wherever I was in the house. I remember one night, soon after finding one on the ceiling, I was filled with paranoia that there was one in the room with me. Sitting up in bed, I was convinced it was a roach every time my sheets shifted. I spent the night awake and filled with fear.As college students, we're in a season of life where we can't see very far in front of our faces. We don't know what city we're going to be living in in a few years, what our relationships will be like, or what we'll be doing. It's a time that can cause a lot of fear and anxiety for a lot of us; I know it has for me.I started college as an Education major and switched to Communication after my third semester. When I was trying to figure out what major I wanted to change to, I felt so lost. I knew I wasn't in the right major for me, but I had no idea where I needed to be. After finding out that I had to make a decision pretty much immediately before I would become stuck in my major, I cried a lot, bit the bullet, and chose Communication because it was broad and left me some room to figure some things out.For a while, after I started my new classes, I felt so much happier and more secure, even if I still wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to pursue as a career. Flash forward to last week, when I found out I have a lot more hours than I thought and am set to graduate a semester early. Cue the panic. A semester doesn't seem like a huge deal in the grand scheme of life, but I felt like I was about to be kicked out into the world with no direction or warning. Graduating "in two years" and graduating "in three semesters" is a big jump when you're not expecting it. So, here I am again, floating through space, trying to figure out which way I'm going. Jesus, I know you have a purpose for me, why can't I see it?I try so hard to avoid the unknown. I plan and organize everything in my journal so I don't have to wonder about what's ahead. The comforting thing I realized recently is that I don't know where I'm going right now, but I won't know where I'm going when I'm 60, either. I'm never going to know exactly what is going to happen, where I'm going to be living, what I will be doing, who I will be spending my time with. After that night spent in tears about what could be in the dark ahead of me, the sun came up, and I was able to see that there was no terrible thing there, and I was safe all along.Why am I so afraid of the unknown? Does it really matter what it holds? Wherever I'm going, whoever I'm with, I know that He will be there. I need to learn to rest assured in his perfect peace knowing that I don't have to know what's ahead. I don't have to spend my days reminiscing on the past and fearing the future because he's already there, reaching out his hand to me and you and every one of us, no matter where we are in life. He has a perfect plan for each of us. We don't have to know what it is, we just have to trust. I want to end with a lyric from Going by Tow'rs which has been my mantra for a few months:"Wherever I'm going, I'm going with you."That's all we need to remember. It doesn't matter where we're going, as long as we're going with Him.words and photo by Josie BivensSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave