Breaking the Cycle.

My name is Olivia, and I'm a recovering pity addict. Welcome to the support group for the formerly self-enslaved. Here's a name-tag.I am convinced that at least ¾ of the population of the United States and Western populations (but mainly Americans, if we're honest) struggle with the condition coined “victim mentality.” We see it everyday, in countless ways, invading our malleable humanity with elevated attitude that convinces us that the world is after us – and we deserve better.Social Media only fuels the fire. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate it. Instagram is the sole reason that I have a successful wedding photography business, and between that and Facebook, I am able to keep up with friends across the nations of the world. They are wonderful tools. But they are also the reasons I doubt myself and the worthiness of my existence. And the virtual flattery is the reason that I feel that I deserve more. Combine the two, and you have the perfect recipe for becoming a raving “victim.”Who is a real victim? People who have been physically, emotionally, or verbally abused. Entire races who have been oppressed because of their color or culture. Children who have been abandoned by their parents. Soldiers who have been wounded in war. People who have been harmed by circumstances beyond their control.Who is not a victim? People who don't get to travel as much as they want to. People who hurt those they love and then feel rejected by their friends who refuse to support them. People who don't have the jobs or ministry positions that they desire. People who can't eat gluten, dairy, or other foods (anyone feel me on this one?!). People whose race has never been systematically oppressed, yet who feel offended by being reminded of another race's oppression. People who have nothing legitimate to complain about, because they just feel jealous or have created a tough situation for themselves.I was a child of divorce. I was raised by a single-mom on a meager income, who worked several jobs to keep our house and food on the table. When times got tough (post-recession), the two of us bounced around from home-to-home for a few years, moving close to 15 times between friends. I wasn't given a car. I didn't have a college fund waiting for me. Money was always tight. Did I feel victimized at times? Sure. That's where the “recovering pity addict” part comes in. I thrived on people's sympathy for a good 2-3 years. But that was from ages 13-15. Now? I feel nothing but gratitude for where I've come.You see, I have learned that I am only a victim if I let myself be. There were many hard things I left off of that list. Legitimately hard things that people would say I would be justified feeling bad about. I just don't want to feel bad about myself anymore. I don't want to compare my life to those around me. I don't want to constantly wonder if I measure up in my personality, belongings, adventures, feed, appearance, etc. Ann Voskamp said it best - “When I give thanks for the seemingly microscopic, I make a place for God to grow within me.” God has no room to grow in us if we are completely absorbed with ourselves and the condition of our life.The remarkable thing that I've found is that true victims often transcend their pasts and refuse to own the title any longer, at a certain point. Conversely, false victims will stay stuck in their crippling cycle of self-enslavement until they choose to be honest with themselves and find the good in their lives. No matter how hard your circumstance, you have the decision to overcome through gratitude. How can you begin to break the cycle in your life, today?words by Olivia Douglas and photo by Sara Beth Pritchard