Becoming Love.

I live an interesting double life here in Chicago. I grew up in the church, constantly surrounded by people who thought and acted like me. It was (and is) comfortable. When I moved away for college to a school and, furthermore, a city that is filled with people who don’t think or act like me or believe the same things I do, I was freaked the heck out. I didn’t know how to act.

However, I discovered my light had been dimmed, rather than brightened, by the comfortability of my life back home. My beliefs and choices had been scarcely challenged or questioned. For the first time in all my life, I was forced to formulate my own answers to some of life’s biggest questions.

I learned how to respond to people who hated “Christians like me” and a world that doesn’t know the abounding love of Jesus that I have grown up surrounded by. The great prophet Bob Goff wrote, “Every selfless act of love is a declaration of faith.” Living in Chicago has reminded me that I don’t have to have all the answers or know all the right words to say or fight all the battles to be a light. I don’t need to be evangelizing to people on the street corners of my campus or sending harsh tweets to people who don’t agree with me. Suddenly, I realized that love is a lot stronger than that.

I realized that people don’t want to know about Jesus if they don’t experience His love without strings attached. People don’t want to listen to a Christian if they have preconceived ideas about us being filled with hatred and judgement. If I can love without waiting to decide who’s worthy of love, then I am loving just as Jesus did, and that’s a pretty incredible model for love.

I started loving and loving big. I realized that this new life of mine, the one filled with people who not only don’t believe the same things as me, but who hate me because of what I believe, is not something that's going to go away. Sometimes, I would get bitter and angry and want to retreat to my comfortable life. But I quickly realized that God put me right where my feet are planted not to learn how to cope with hard people. He didn’t even put me here to learn how to love hard people. God put me right where He knew I could become love because I am one of those "hard people."

I love how God knows to work on my heart before He works on my situation. He doesn’t put me in situations because He wants me to get closer to discomfort. He puts me in these situations so that I can get closer to the woman He designed me to be. Becoming love looks a lot like uncomfortable situations and messy conversations and difficult people that just become people.

words by Maddie Watson and photo by Sarah Mohan