The Be-All End-All.

I'm about to let you in on something incredibly personal. Something that the Holy Spirit is engraving into my heart and rewiring within me. Something that has taken the testing of the seasons, ugly tears, the fires of jealousy, and countless prayers to understand.Marriage is not life's be-all end-all. It just isn't.We live in a society where romance is revered highly - worshiped, even. It finances nearly every business, is a main theme of nearly very movie or novel, and shapes nearly every decision that we make. Children grow up watching Disney movies where a woman's life is completely void of adventure and meaning until her Prince Charming rides in on a horse and sweeps her off of her feet. The Church drills in the idea of “preparing your heart for marriage” and “the one” practically from infancy, putting individuality and singleness in the shadow. We sign up for the gym and ditch the junk food, not for our well-being, but so we can have bodies that are irresistible. Married couples boast of their position to their single (including dating) friends, many doing so only to affirm to themselves that they have believed well - that marriage must be the best possible thing in the entire universe. Meanwhile, they feel a sense of emptiness because they have nothing to look forward to aside from temporal satisfaction, because eternal satisfaction is not found in another human.When you devote the first third or fourth of your life to preparing yourselves for something you think to be a kind of vacation or destination that is not, we find brokenness. The 50% divorce rate. Absent parents. Marriages void of pleasure and enjoyment. Why? Because marriage is a vocation, not a destination.Vocation, n. a person's employment or main occupation, especially regarded as particularly worthy and requiring great dedication.Simply put, marriage is a job. I do not say this in a belittling way or with any negative connotation. I believe marriage to be an incredible honor and position created by God. I, myself, am dating a man that intends to marry me, who I wish to dedicate my life to. To serve. To lay my life down for. To learn the love of Christ for the Church through. A worthy vocation and something that pays off, but not a destination.Ask any husband and wife that you admire, and I'm sure they'll agree – marriage is work and it takes your all. If we look at it only through the lens of crazy adventure and wild romance, we miss the point. It is designed to be a vehicle that carries us deeper into the heart of God. People get disappointed when they realize that romance and attraction aren't enough. Sleepless nights with crying babies. Arguments over money. Working jobs with conflicting schedules. Not exactly romantic, is it?The purpose of marrying someone is to walk with them to the end of their lives and to see them reach Heaven. To practice the service of love and wash their feet like Jesus. To grow in the fruits of the Spirit by being sharpened and tested by one another's differences. To give love selflessly and learn to receive it as God gives and receives. That's the be-all end-all, to love God better as a result of the lessons that you have learned and His heart that you have seen through your relationship with your husband or wife.All that to say, there is nothing wrong with you if you are not married. Your life will not be validated through it, and it certainly isn't invalidated without it. As you watch friends get engaged and others marry, all the while wondering when your time will come, know this: your worth will not be increased when your day comes. You are just as worthy now as you will be then. Marriage is simply a vocation designed to reveal God. And guess what? He lives in you. You don't have to marry to learn more about Him. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not in lack. You're not doing anything to withhold the blessing of marriage from your life. It will come in due time, and it looks different for everyone. Trust God in your wait, and open your heart to His love.If you are married, remember that God is the purpose. Romance will not complete you. Sex is not the point. Flowers and chocolates and overseas vacations aren't the only ways that love displays itself. You will never find fulfillment if you're only seeking it in one another. May Christ be the goal and the motivation of it all – in Him lies the greatest fulfillment and satisfaction in the entirety of existence.words by Olivia Douglas and photo by Hailey Pierce