Pour Your Cup Out.

What happened to my inner joy, unshakable peace, impenetrable love for others? It is like over the course of a couple weeks and months I have slowly started an avalanche within my soul that is wiping out all that was good and right in my life.It has been harder for me to smile at others, speak life instead of discouragment, think positively of myself, and even rest in Jesus' presence. Not only this, but where I once found myself consistantly sitting at the feet of Jesus, I now hesitantly sit at a distance, if I decide to sit at all. I found myself in a place where the once ambitious, living loved girl was wondering what she could possibly bring before the Almighty God as anything of worth.I felt as if Satan himself was riding my back with whispers of failure and discontent through almost every situation, person, and event that I come in contact with; like I was an animal hide that has been hung up to dry in the scorching heat and continuously beaten down until the very fibers of the material are raw and no longer distinguishable.For months, I lived this. I endured the numbness that my soul shouted at me everyday. I saw everything in a negative light and remained in the pit of despair that I allowed myself to be placed in. Satan thought he had won victory over my soul, but then Jesus, in his ever persistent love for me, His beloved, heard my cry and lifted me up. Out of the miry bog, He lifted my soul.The moment, the heartbeating, heart crushing moment that I poured out my cup of sorrow upon the ground of my Savior's feet, my eyes were opened and I saw Christ come and cover me with His wings of protection. Just as my head was to go under the restless deep waters, I saw His lighthouse beacon's light and felt His powerful nail-scarred hands pull my broken-body from the determined darkness.From the fruits of pouring out the cup of all that I had been trying to weather and manage alone, I found restoration and a new cup of Living Water being poured into my parched being. My cup needed to be poured out of myself in order to be filled with something greater, mightier and oh so much better, Jesus and His truth.Every self-loathing thought poured out. Every fear of failure of being a soon-to-be wife and college graduate poured out. Every disposition of negativity poured out. Every prideful concern poured out. All of it, down to the last drop, poured out. An outpouring of self for the pouring in of Jesus.This is the gospel; to rid oneself with all of themselves for the sake of following Christ.It does feel like being left out to dry sometimes, it hurts, it burns, it leaves scars but isn't that what death to self is? Death hurts. Putting to grave what was before Jesus feels weird and uncomfortable but it is completely necesarry and worth every pain or sorrow ever endured.His love and mercy will be your new clothing. His strength and power your new refuge.  His promises and hope your sure foundation. All of Him is yours and all of you is His. Let that be true in your life. Let that be true in my life. As hard, as dark, as painful as some seasons may be, we can, we should pour ourselves out daily to filled by the one who sustains our every moment.words by Joy Johnston and photo by Sarah MohanSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave