Speak Loving Truth.

There is one friend in my life that is unlike any other. Let’s call her Lynn. It took us all of 3 hours of knowing each other before we were crying and sharing our soul’s deepest struggles with one another. We both know that the deep connection we share was one forged and protected by God. She is one of the truest example of Jesus for me, but not in the way you might think. I remember a period of about a month where I was struggling with a particular sin. I came to her almost every time I felt guilty and she would listen patiently, cry with me, and encourage me. But that’s not what makes her a kindred spirit. I realized how much more Jesus calls of us as sisters in Christ when she used her position in my life to speak a bold truth in my time of brokenness.As I cried on Lynn’s bed for what felt like the millionth time, she reminded me again that I am forgiven and whole and loved, but this time she gave me a challenge. She told me that I needed to act on my situation. Yes, grace abounds, but it abounds so I don’t have to make the same sinful choices over and over again. Basically, she told me to stop taking the easy route of sin because I have the holy spirit inside me to do better. Lynn's words, at first, were hard for me to hear. It was hard to accept responsibility for my part in my sin, to accept that my actions had contributed to my own hurt. She could see this, she knew right from the start that this was something I needed to deal with. She took it to prayer, she let me hurt, she shared in my hurt, and when she felt the time was right, she began to push me into my calling as a follower of Christ. She spoke truth to me in love. And that is something I think we could all do a little bit better.For some of us speaking truth is the hard part. We don’t want to hurt feelings or appear as holier-than-thou when we say it. We rush to fill the hurt with grace, without looking to prevent it from happening again. But this is not the heart of Jesus. In our community we are to hold each other accountable to the life we have declared that we want to live. Unfortunately, sometimes we fail. A lot. Satan can cloud our judgement and place the reason behind our actions elsewhere when really, it’s our own heart that needs to be checked. And sometimes, it's easier for our loved ones to see this than it is ourselves. So sometimes, we need to be honest to help each other grow.For others, the love is the hard part. I’m a very honest person and would gladly point out all the faults I see in others, but that’s not the way of Jesus either. He wants us to first look at our own hearts, our own lives and ensure that our intent is to love. Sometimes, when we check our hearts, maybe God will remind us that this is his job and this time you just need to listen and grieve with your friend. However, I believe that sometimes God does call us to gently approach our friends and invite them back into the life desired for them by Him. It must be done with the utmost humility and love, that's what makes our truth stick with our friends. At first I didn’t really like what Lynn was saying to me, but she had prepared her heart, she knew that she was intending to build me up with this challenge, not tear me down. She spoke with a conviction and care that I could see was from God. She boldly did what she felt God had asked of her in telling me that I needed to cut some things out of my life. This is one of the reasons I consider her a kindred spirit and why I always go to her with issues of the heart because I know she will speak the truth, and she will do it with Jesus' love. So listen to your friends. Hear their hurt. Mourn with them. Rejoice with them. Know when to let them wrestle it out with God. Pray for them often. But don’t be a bystander in Satan’s work. Accountability is something that we desperately need when living a life that is pleasing to God. Listen to the promptings of the spirit if you feel them in your conversations with your friends, because sometimes we need to help each other to live the life we are called to.words by Breanna Maier and photo by Cate Willis