Who We Are.

I can find myself in my Pinterest life a lot, getting caught up in the idea of having everything I want, no problems, and endless closet space for new flowy, vintage pants. Inevitably, when something goes wrong, I blame it on not being good enough. Not having enough. Not experiencing enough. Enough. I am never enough. It’s this vicious cycle of comparison. Our worth comes from who we were created to be and our Father, whom we were created by. Our worth doesn't come from how many likes we get, how many good conversations we have, or what outfit we wear. It’s not what we do that makes us worth loving, it’s who we are. When I first moved to Seattle, I was struck with jealousy. Being surrounded by immense amounts of art and inspiration, I was hit with such a need for everything I didn’t have or do and who I wasn't. Instantly negating who I was, what I have accomplished, and even the wonderful things I’ve been blessed with, I constantly dragged my feet in a haze of hatred for who I was. We have cultivated this culture of comparison and in order to break it, we have to realize our worth is so much more than we think. I’ve found that we have to like ourselves enough to take care of ourselves.  For me, it took moving away to realize this. Perhaps it doesn't always take that large of a leap, but being forced to find myself in a new city really put it all in perspective. I wasn’t aware how unworthy I felt until it was all I had left to feel. “Creating” this new person and learning how to exude my own personality around a lot of new people brought out the insecurities I had of who I am and what I have to offer. The truth is this:You are beautiful. You are intelligent.You are a joy. You were created for greatness. You are worthy of love, of relationship, of joy. You are made to conquer, to be whoever you are, and the most beautiful, raw form of that. There is beauty in admitting how you feel. There is growth in recognizing how stagnant you might be without having recognized it before. And ultimately, that is how growth happens. When you take a breath and remember who you are.words by Madi Houchin and photo by Leah Van Otterloo