Worship Will Carry You.

I’ve been in a really strange season lately. One of those seasons that are seemingly punctuated by anxiety and surrounded by pain. I won’t go much into detail about what has been going on (because it would take many more words than a single article contains), but trust me when I say it’s been the hardest space I’ve ever found myself in. While it’s been amazing for expanding my capacity for empathy and identifying with others who have experienced grief and trauma, it has run me through the wringer. It has been an expensive time, causing me to spend every last drop of my energy and will. In the words of Steffany Gretzinger, God has “brought me to the end of myself, and this has been the longest road.”Have you ever been in a place where every corner you turn you’re triggered by the bitter memory of something? Where every dream you've ever dreamt is in jeopardy? Where loneliness feels more familiar than any sense of belonging? Where you can barely remember what joy feels like? Me too, friend. And I have good news for you: there is a way out, and mercy will lead you.First, let me say that you are validated. You don’t have to be okay. You don’t have to understand or know all the answers. You are allowed to cry and kick and scream and ask hard questions because I promise you that God can handle it. You are allowed to call the situation what it is—and it’s important that you do, because that’s the first step to healing. Admitting that what is going on is not fun and that you have a deep need for the Holy Spirit’s help opens the door for light to flood in. When you give up on trying to get through solely by brute-force will, you have come to the end of yourself. There, God can and will meet you.In my own experience, I often find that I forget to worship in hard seasons. The worship pastor at my church, Andy Squyres, recently said something that really hit me hard. It went something like this: “If you’re not singing in your season, something is wrong.” Now obviously, we aren’t all worship leaders, but we all have a voice and a song to sing, and it’s important that we use them. In the remainder of his message, Andy emphasized that worship, regardless of the climate of the season we’re in, will carry us into truth and freedom. The words we speak over ourselves have power, and we can use them to transform our situations. Not in a word-of-faith-theology kind of way, but through agreeing with truth and disengaging with lies and how that impacts our paths of thinking. Or in the words of Proverbs 23:7, “for as he thinks within himself, so he is.”Worship has carried me through this season. I happen to be a songwriter and a musician, so my experience with using worship to usher me into healing has been unique and will ultimately look different than others. Still, I encourage you to find a song to sing. If that means turning on YouTube or Spotify and singing (as on- or off-key as you do) at the top of your lungs, picking up a guitar or sitting down to a piano and playing without the use of your voice, singing A cappella, going to a prayer room or a worship service, do it. Whatever it looks like for you, find the safe space to do it. Watch God draw you out of your circumstances and into His arms through giving Him your attention. When we fix our gazes on Him, there is only one outcome—becoming more like Him. That means becoming peaceful, confident, joyful, whole, hopeful, loving…the list goes on. Worship profoundly changes us from the inside out. Your circumstances may stay the same and you may feel nothing the first few times, but the more you do it, the more your heart will change. God is faithful to meet us where we are at, guys. I promise He is. He has never and will never leave us wanting and needing. Even in the pain, He will meet us. We simply must ask. Peace on your journey and grace where you are at—mountain or valley. May worship lead you into the promised land!words by Olivia Douglas and photo by Sara Beth Pritchard